2013.01.05

Bond Fifty

Comments

I’m making my way through the Bond 50 Blu-ray box set, which was an unexpected and beautiful Christmas gift. The movies look and sound absolutely gorgeous in high definition, so it’s been a real treat to see them again. Of course, there are some really bad films, and most of the rest are at least a little cheesy. Rather than flooding twitter with snark, I collected some random outbursts here.

The Spy Who Loved Me

AGENT TREEPLE X AGENT TREEPLE X

This movie sparked 1: A lifelong desire to visit Egypt, and 2: A lifelong fear of elevators, and/or Mozart.

Did we used to think the Lotus Esprit was pretty? It looks like a Pontiac Fiero, if you could imagine a Fiero not turning to red dust on contact with water.

Casino Royale

Watching Casino Royale after Skyfall, it’s amazing how young Daniel Craig looks here.

Best. Opening. Titles. Ever.

I’ve decided to add life goal #44: Ride a horse on a beach wearing a bikini.

I keep expecting James Garner to show up as security at the card game.

WHOA TESTICLES

Die Another Day

This may be the prettiest looking pile of shit ever made. I remembered the shitty but had forgotten the pretty.

Bikini entrances, ranked in order of rewatchability: 3. Halle Berry, 2. Ursula Andress, 1. Daniel Craig

Wait, dude is getting his entire DNA replaced but they can’t extract a few diamonds from the skin on his face??

I love John Cleese, but he is not doing it for me as Q.

Aghglhlh invisible car

Goldfinger

Holy crap, this movie looks good on Blu-ray.

It’s amazing how much of the film is dedicated to a round of golf.

Ummm, hello rape-based conversion of implied lesbian with cutesy soundtrack. Helpful commentary reminds us this used to be a common plot device.

You Only Live Twice

“Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?”
“You think we better, huh?”
“No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar. But I love them both.”
“Darling, I give you very best duck.”

What the what? And also, SEAN CONNERY DOES NOT LOOK THE SLIGHTEST BIT JAPANESE NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO WITH HIS EYEBROWS YOU GUYS.

There is nothing else I can write about this movie after that.

Licence to Kill

This isn’t as bad as I remember. It’s still pretty bad.

Drugs Bartlet is my Wayne Newton Cover Band.

I keep expecting Sam Waterston to appear as Pam’s handler.

Worst Bond hair, ranked: 3. Licence To Kill, 2. A View To a Kill, 1. Diamonds Are Forever

Jesus, Benicio del Toro was hot in this movie. Benicio del Toro. Benicio del Totoro.

tags: bondfifty , movies

  • edie

    I have escaped these movies. But I still love this post.

  • Don't ever change!

  • Lori

    WHOA TESTICLES?

  • WHOA TESTICLES.

blog comments powered by Disqus

Powered by
Movable Type 5.2
neonepiphany dot com