2008.04.28

The fall of the immortals

Comments

I’m not certain if I’ve ever really been prepared to learn that my father wasn’t immortal. I have never met anyone who was as self-assured as he is — and remember watching, wide-eyed, as he, badly burnt in a yard project gone horribly wrong, proceeded to cut dead meat off his leg with a pair of kitchen shears. Was it meant to be sick or reassuring when he pushed his finger into exposed flesh to show me what “edema” was? To my forever-afraid, little girl eyes, this was on a different plane: real Zeus-versus-the-Titans stuff.

On Friday, I got a call from my baby sister, who told me that he was in hospital, with a likely stroke — he’d been feeling numbness in his right side while packing for a trip, and after making his self-diagnosis (of course) had gone with my mother. I talked to him that afternoon, and he was in good spirits, talking clearly, and apparently moving around well and often (they couldn’t keep him his room). But there was some question about his blood pressure, and his blood sugar, and…

Things seem better now — there seems to have been a bullet dodged. But things are different now, on the other side, and I’m afraid. I don’t think I’ll ever not be afraid again.

  • j david

    /hug and good thoughts for you, selva/yuki/eden

  • metagnat

    I'm sorry. My thoughts will be with you and your father through this.

    It is a scary thing.

    -E

  • Oh, my heart goes out to you. It's no fun when your parents teach you all about TIAs, strokes and infarcts like they're just these things you deal with.

    May your response turn from fear to acceptance of the circle of life.

  • pastilla

    Though one would think we would logically be programmed to accept the immortality of the upper generation, we aren't.

    Within the fear is the eventual comfort of life's circle though, that comes, and stays. :)

  • ::hugs:: I had something of a similar experience with my father one frightening night a couple of years ago. It never really is the same afterward; there's always the thought - the fear. It doesn't go away, but I can at least say it makes everything from here on our that much sweeter to remember.

  • jenn

    :( So sorry to hear about your father. *hug* indeed.

  • Yogi

    *hug*

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