2006.08.02

and, fallen

Comments

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Oh, but it’s so hard to move him, when he’s no interest in going, even if he knows he needs to go. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it seems nothing short of an army will do, and you form your army, & forget to put it away when it’s not important anymore. so you use it to wash the bathroom, or grill a hamburger, which only makes for too much hamburger. Or not enough.

You keep telling yourself you’re just looking out for someone, and you forget how it is you ever asked for anything without making it a goddamned ultimatum, and well. It may be what works, but it’s all too easy to miss where a relationship of push and pull becomes one of pull, pull, pull. and that’s no good for anyone involved.

So, I’m sorry. Deeply. Because I never wanted to hurt you.

And i’ll retire that army, for good, and that means I won’t pester you about those little things. But it means I can’t be there for the big things either. Because I go in too deep, and I love too much, and

i.

just.

can’t.

anymore.


  • miranda

    I don't know who you're writing about, but I do know it can be good to set boundaries, and that friendship like plants cannot thrive without some thoughtful weeding and pruning.

  • Selva, honey, you write so beautifully, and so vaguely.

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