2004.01.25

Jolie Molie

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Since when did Angelina Jolie’s presence automatically ensure a movie’s badness in my mind?

Was reminded today that shortly before I fell asleep at Kips Bay, I saw the trailer of an upcoming movie with the unlikely title Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Now I adore the painfully-beautiful Jude Law, and art deco retro sci-fi is exactly the kind of thing that gets me out of bed in the morning (oo, The Rocketeer!), but then Ms. Croft showed her face and I suddently lost all interest in the film.

Now the thing about Sky Captain is that it’s apparently been shot with no real sets — every scene in the trailer seemed to composite one of our three leads against computer-animated backgrounds. But Angelina, whose gradual plasticization over the years is rivalled only by that of J. Lo, appeared on screen and managed to appear more artificial than the scenery. It was all vaguely nauseating. Thank goodness we were there to see Return of the King and not Torque, or I might never have recovered.

I’m sorry, Lish. Can you ever forgive me?


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