2003.05.01

Up the ladder to the roof

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Happy May, everyone!

The raccoon? Oh, yes. Well, she stayed away for a few days, but last week I started hearing those dreadful scratching noises in the walls again. A couple nights in a row of standing outside locked in battle with the little rascal and it was time to do something else; a “panic” trip to Home Depot and I had myself a little fiberglass ladder, a huge X-Files–sized MagLite, some chicken wire, and some nails: basically everything I could grab that looked halfway relevant in the fifteen minutes before closing. I wasn’t sure what I could do with any of that stuff — the closest I’ve gotten to construction work is watching Trading Spaces — but if some kind of hack was going to get me some uninterrupted sleep, well, it would be worth it.

Of course, the only ladder that would fit into the car was far too petite to get me on the roof — I’m terrified of heights anyway — but it got me close enough to the action to discover a series of shakes that the raccoon had torn away to get access into the house! After a moment of panic, I realized that the only access from that point was not into the attic proper, but into a separate roof structure that exists mainly to keep the area outside the front door dry. Still, the thought of coming home one day to find drywall scattered inside the door and unwelcome visitors crawling on the furniture was just too awful, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep well until that hole was closed, scratching or no.

The plan:

  1. crawl out the window of the bedroom.
  2. walk around the second floor with flashlight, chickenwire and nails in hand.
  3. wedge into small corner under overhang, dodging small, rabid fuzzies.
  4. seal entry shut with minimal self-inflicted wounds.

The reality:

  1. crawl out the window of the bedroom.
  2. take one look down.
  3. suppress vomit.
  4. desperately dive back in through window.

Well, what can you do? I told you I wasn’t handy.

(It’s fixed now, by the way. When all else fails, leave it to the pros!)


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    \n
  1. crawl out the window of the bedroom.
  2. \n
  3. walk around the second floor with flashlight, chickenwire and nails in hand.
  4. \n
  5. wedge into small corner under overhang, dodging small, rabid fuzzies.
  6. \n
  7. seal entry shut with minimal self-inflicted wounds.
  8. \n
\n\nThe reality:\n\n
    \n
  1. crawl out the window of the bedroom.
  2. \n
  3. take one look down.
  4. \n
  5. suppress vomit.
  6. \n
  7. desperately dive back in through window.
  8. \n
\n\nWell, what can you do? I told you I wasn't handy.\n\n(It's fixed now, by the way. When all else fails, leave it to the pros!)"; } function get_the_offset() { return -8; } function start_mt() { include('/home/ianthe/neonepiphany.com/mt/php/mt.php'); $mt = MT::get_instance(1, '/home/ianthe/neonepiphany.com/mt/mt-config.cgi'); return $mt; } function trackback_url() { return "http://www.neonepiphany.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/272"; } include('/home/ianthe/neonepiphany.com/mt/plugins/disqus/php/disqus.php'); include(dsq_comments_template(1)); ?>

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