ne(one)piphany

 
As threatened, the Fat Kreme a la mode photo essay.

Jet calls it the "Fat Kreme a la Stone Cold." I call it gross.

One Fatburger, two Krispy Kreme glazed original doughnuts, and one small cup of Cold Stone strawberry ice cream with white chocolate chips. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they've since opened a Jamba Juice next door.

On the other hand, perhaps that's best for everyone involved.

 
The raw ingredients.

 
Our old friend, the Fat Kreme.

 
I was imagining a spoonful or two, but apparently Jet has other ideas.

 
Clearly a fork-and-knife affair. Personally I don't think he wants to touch it.

 
Nothing complements the taste of a Fat Kreme a la mode like the smooth taste of the Macallan.

 
Clearly delirious from the aftereffects, Jet gives the thumbs-up.

 
Proof of a kind and loving god at last! It's over.

Have lately frequented the British Pantry, where I lunched fabulously today: Stilton cheeseburger with potato salad and Cock’n Bull ginger beer. Not your typical ginger beer, it’s sweet and gingery without much in the way of bite or spice. Oh, I like the sharp stuff too, but this is one marvelous brew. Earlier this week, bangers and mash, and sinfully decadent sticky toffee pudding.

Also at the pantry, I spied a can of “Stahly Vegetarian Haggis.” What?? I almost bought it for its novelty value but at $8 a pop, reason caught the better of me.

Speaking of food abominations, a Cold Stone just opened across from the local Fatburger and Krispy Kreme, completing the trifecta of evil.

Fat Kreme a la mode?

Jill’s my hero, so in her footsteps I present:

• history of the Moscow Mule

Flashback: for no reason other than to fan the flames of infamy, the Fat Kreme photo essay, starring Jet:

Bon appétit!

Jet came up with the idea of the Fat Kreme Combo back when the Fatburger opened its doors in the strip mall down the hill, across from Krispy Kreme. It was a lot more innocuous then, and only involved hitting the donuts directly after the burgers. We should have just done it, because that might have squelched the whole concept before it was allowed to morph into what it did.

That was a year ago. I was convinced it was a joke (seriously, yuck!), but others apparently thought the concept was “great,” and came up with variations on the theme. Freesia invented Krispy Shots, which were surprisingly okay. Jen reported an outing involving Krispy Kremes and In-n-Out burgers. Okay, gross!

Through all this, the Fat Kreme remained blissfully unexplored. Jet, the instigator, kept finding excuses not to do it, still insisting that it would be “awesome” when it did happen. I, of course, knew that it never would.

…until tonight, that is. Behold the Frankenstein creation in all its terrible glory:

You couldn’t have paid me enough to go near the thing, but I have to hand it to him: it wasn’t a joke. He ate the whole thing and, apparently, loved it.