2002.08.01

This is a good day

Comments

I. Signs and portents that may acutally indicate that today will be a good day

1. Door drops of stilted-English flyers for goods & services (contents abridged):

TATIANA FABULOUS CLEANING SERVICE
Homes, Offices, After Conctructions

We Will Make Your Home Crispy Clean!

We Are a small Family and Friends Busness, and We Really Treasure Our Relationship With Our Clients, and Their Pets Too.

The best part is the bottom of the flyer, next to the phone numbers, where (Mac Warehouse catalog-like) there is a photo of a happy operator-lady on the phone.

2. Weird care packages from Mom.

Contents:

  • Orthopedic sandals
  • Two (2) walnuts
  • The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

People wonder why I’m a little odd. Now you know.

3. Beating mysterious yard creatures at their own game.

The award for most useless mow has to come to me for my performance today. At most I shaved a centimeter off the height of the grass. But it was ALL ME, BABY! Anyways, someone’s coming by to aerate and re-seed the lawn this Saturday so staving off the gnome is probably a good thing, lest it trample the seedies.


II. Lessons in fast food

If you’re sitting in your car, eating the chicken mcnugget value meal you just bought on the way to work, and you notice that the nuggets are far more juicy and tender than usual, DO NOT LET CURIOSITY FORCE YOU TO TAKE A PEEK AT THE NUGGET.

You might discover, like me, that the interior of the thing is TRANSLUCENT and UNCOOKED.

Ack! And of course I only checked on the sixth nugget I ate.

I might even have not cared if I knew that it was normal chicken parts but hey, it’s McDonald’s. Who knows where that action came from? I’ll tell you one thing, I bet it’s not “crispy clean.” On the bright side, it might not even be animal matter at all; maybe I should take some comfort in that.

Anyways, it’s been three days and I’m not dead, so time to stop worrying about it. But suffice it to say that I’ll be staying away from Mickey D’s for awhile.


III. Pre-emptive pillow book entry.

Channeling Sei Shōnagon makes me feel good.

Things that are happy

Delivering cookies to one who is sad.
Moist soil.
Sharks that are on the other side of the glass.
Warm sheets on a cold morning.
Gumbo on a late-night bar menu.
Soft things.

I know some people back east that would think right about now, a “cold morning” would be enough for boundless amounts of happy.


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TATIANA FABULOUS CLEANING SERVICE
Homes, Offices, After Conctructions

We Will Make Your Home Crispy Clean!

We Are a small Family and Friends Busness, and We Really Treasure Our Relationship With Our Clients, and Their Pets Too.

\n\nThe best part is the bottom of the flyer, next to the phone numbers, where (Mac Warehouse catalog-like) there is a photo of a happy operator-lady on the phone.\n\n2. Weird care packages from Mom.\n\n
Contents:

  • Orthopedic sandals
  • Two (2) walnuts
  • The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
\n\nPeople wonder why I'm a little odd. Now you know.\n\n3. Beating mysterious yard creatures at their own game.\n\nThe award for most useless mow has to come to me for my performance today. At most I shaved a centimeter off the height of the grass. But it was ALL ME, BABY! Anyways, someone's coming by to aerate and re-seed the lawn this Saturday so staving off the gnome is probably a good thing, lest it trample the seedies.\n\n

\n\nII. Lessons in fast food\n\nIf you're sitting in your car, eating the chicken mcnugget value meal you just bought on the way to work, and you notice that the nuggets are far more juicy and tender than usual, DO NOT LET CURIOSITY FORCE YOU TO TAKE A PEEK AT THE NUGGET.\n\nYou might discover, like me, that the interior of the thing is TRANSLUCENT and UNCOOKED.\n\nAck! And of course I only checked on the sixth nugget I ate.\n\nI might even have not cared if I knew that it was normal chicken parts but hey, it's McDonald's. Who knows where that action came from? I'll tell you one thing, I bet it's not \"crispy clean.\" On the bright side, it might not even be animal matter at all; maybe I should take some comfort in that.\n\nAnyways, it's been three days and I'm not dead, so time to stop worrying about it. But suffice it to say that I'll be staying away from Mickey D's for awhile.\n\n

\n\nIII. Pre-emptive pillow book entry.\n\nChanneling Sei Shōnagon makes me feel good.\n\n
Things that are happy

Delivering cookies to one who is sad.
Moist soil.
Sharks that are on the other side of the glass.
Warm sheets on a cold morning.
Gumbo on a late-night bar menu.
Soft things.

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