Oh, Jeff, please don’t despair. You & your gorgeous hair can overthink dinner for me anytime.

Incidentally, I can’t possibly be the only person who reads “Dildo Beach Club” whenever they show his restaurant name up there. Can I?


That old 25 Things saw

I’m sure you all know the drill by now. I’ve suppressed the urge to share blazingly obvious things, like “I like Spam!” or “I have a love/hate relationship with my mother, mostly because I’m becoming her.” That made it hard to actually come up with twenty-five things, so I may have stretched some ideas out.

Some are presented as punchlines, so if you want to know the whole story, please ask. I do reserve the right to decline. :)

1) Every time I hear the snap of scissors or hedge trimmers, I imagine my upper lip is between the blades.

2) I used to tape record romances and adventure serials starring my stuffed bunny, puppy & alligator. Yes, I’ve captured these to mp3, and no, you can’t listen.

3) When my mother told me she’d thrown away that alligator, I cried for hours. I was thirty!

4) When I was six or seven, some lit logs fell out of our fireplace & I thought our house would burn down. When they found me after the commotion was over I was standing outside on the sidewalk holding the one thing I cared about most in the whole wide world: my alligator. Our house didn’t burn down. I think the fire was actually put out in seconds.

5) I don’t know if I’ve forgiven her yet.

6) I find vacuuming to be incredibly cathartic, and will be sad when only robots clean people’s homes.

7) My biggest fear is singing in front of strangers.

8) That’s not true. My biggest fear is of being exposed as an impostor. Which I suppose is actually the same thing, only extended to include writing, art, photography, work…

9) In spite of this, I keep finding myself singing in front of strangers.

10) I am obviously not above cheating in order to hit 25.

11) The very first computer program I knew I wanted to buy was Aldus PageMaker. I was ten & didn’t get very far with my parents. This is probably because they’d just blown $2500 on an Apple II which they couldn’t figure out how to use, and we didn’t have a Mac.

12) I try to be a font snob, but if I had to work the rest of my life using only Futura and Garamond, I’d be okay.

13) I once ate a tablespoon of pure MSG. No, it didn’t “taste like my tongue, only stronger,” but it was indescribably awful.

14) Every time I interview someone, I’m afraid I’ll lose my own job.

15) I am in awe of my talented friends. See #8.

16) My favorite piece of music ever is the Brahms G major violin sonata. Philip Glass’s Pruit Igoe may be a close second.

17) I lied. Beim schlafengehen. Ugh! Don’t make me pick a favorite!

18) It’s been far too easy for me to fall off the grid completely, for months or years at a time. Coming back, I’m always afraid nobody will like me anymore.

19) I still don’t know why it hasn’t happened yet.

20) My mother groomed me to be an artist, and I can’t help feeling like I sold out.

21) If I could be any celebrity? Cate Blanchett. In a heartbeat. Or wait, Tina Fey. Maybe Tina Fey dreaming of being Cate Blanchett.

22) Unless I had to sing in front of strangers, in which case: 1950s-era Lisa Della Casa.

23) I can’t make a decision to save my life. Can you tell?

24) Random loves: the melody of a beautiful name; the touch of a baby’s cheek; the taste of rose water and honey; the smells of lavender, oolong, rose water, jasmine, camphor, Buddha’s hand citron…

25) That day in the clinic, I thought my life was over. It wasn’t, I got better, but I don’t think I’ll ever patch up that hole in my heart.


Shadow play



Just ‘round the corner


Greener grass


The take from Vancouver - clockwise from top left: Muscat of Alexandria, Satsuma imo (sweet potato & black sesame), Rich strawberry, Azuki bean, Caramel Macchiato McFlurry (??) & Apple. I also bought a pack of banana minis, which are basically tiny, spherical KitKats. And taste like bananas.

They made a live-action movie of Koko wa Greenwood. Did anyone know this? Why wasn’t I told?

More KitKats


Bathtub IV

I had nothing to do with making this video, but it’s too beautiful not to share.

To quote the filmmaker, Keith Loutit:

This is a personal project that would not have been possible without the support of the Westpac Rescue Helicopter Service. Thanks to the entire team for their generous access during training exercises and patrols this Summer. Since the Service began in 1973, it has carried out more than 21,000 missions ranging from urgent patient transfers to dangerous search and rescue missions.

Bathtub IV from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

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